"Although difficult for parents to watch, teasing, name-calling, arguing
and other forms of conflict are common among most brothers and sisters
-- even when one has special needs. While parents may be appalled at
siblings' harshness toward one another, much of this conflict can be a
beneficial part of normal social development. A child with Down syndrome
who grows up with siblings with whom he sometimes fights will likely be
better prepared to face life in the community as an adult than a child
with Down syndrome who grows up as an only child. Regardless of how
adaptive or developmentally appropriate it might be, typical sibling
conflict is more likely to result in feelings of guilt when one sibling
has special health or developmental needs. When conflict arises, the
message sent to many brothers and sisters is, "Leave your sibling alone.
You are bigger, you are stronger, you should know better. It is your
job to compromise." Typically-developing siblings deserve a life where
they, like other children, sometimes misbehave, get angry, and fight
with their siblings."
From What Siblings Would Like Parents and Service Providers to Know by Don Meyers
Bailey and Cooper have a typical brothers relationship. They fight and pick on either other but will be a united front if one gets in trouble with mom and dad. Having to deal with his younger brother's annoying behaviors I think has helped Bailey in many ways. He is tolerate of others, is learning how to advocate for himself and stand up for himself, and learning how to relate to people.
No matter how much we try to teach Cooper to be an advocate for Bailey and to protect Bailey when we are not around, Cooper does submit to peer pressure. One day a couple years ago, my husband picked the boys up from daycare. He found Cooper with a couple other boys laughing and making fun of Bailey. This was extremely devastating to us but we used it as a teachable moment. It really made us remember that Cooper is NT and is developmentally in a typical manner. Making fun of Bailey is a typical thing to do but how we handle the situation helped Cooper learn that it is not a nice or respectful thing to do to Bailey.
What are some typical behaviors your NT child/ren has done?
