Expectations of Typical Developing Siblings

Families need to set high expectations for all their children. However, some typically-developing brothers and sisters react to their siblings' disability by setting unrealistically high expectations for themselves -- and some feel that they must somehow compensate for their siblings' special needs. Parents can help their typically-developing children by conveying clear expectations and unconditional support.  From What Siblings Would like Parents and Service Providers to Know by Don Meyers.

Anyone who knows Cooper knows he is the most laid back kid you know.  As a baby he was so easy going and continues to be that way as a seven years old child.  This easy going nature allows him to be flexible when dealing with Bailey.  If Bailey is having a tough day, Cooper does his best to exhibit his best behavior and finds ways to keep himself occupied while one of us is helping Bailey.  This has it's advantages and disadvantages.  A couple of advantages are he has a plethora of friends because of his easy going nature and he can go with me to meetings if I do not have a sitter for him.  People are amazed at how well behaved Cooper is at the meeting.   A disadvantage is Cooper doesn't really have any boundaries when it comes to other kids, especially those he can tell have special needs.  His kindergarten teacher worked with him to be more assertive about his personal space and to realize that he can set up boundaries with others.  This did help him be more assertive but we have to continue to work with him on this.

One thing we have always done with Cooper is to be sure to show him unconditional support.  Bailey receives so much of our encouragement and support that we have to stop sometimes and remind ourselves Cooper needs that as well because his accomplishments are just as important to him as Bailey's accomplishments are to Bailey.