What would happen if........

Despite the fact I work hard to  learn everything I can about the life of siblings of special needs children so I can avoid many mistakes that parents of these children do, I still mess up from time to time.  This became clear this past week.  Cooper asked Bailey's hab worker if Bailey would cry if he died.  This question upset Bailey terribly as well as Cooper.  Once I was able to calm Bailey down (he cried and said I cry which leads me to think he was trying to say I would cry), I talked with Cooper.  I have learned through researching life of siblings of special needs children that many of these children share the same concerns as their parents.  I have tried not to let Cooper know about my concerns in hopes he would not carry that burden but I think he does just because Bailey is his brother. He has known since he was a toddler that Bailey is different.  Now he is realizing that not only is Bailey different but Bailey's life will  be different than his life.  He worries about Bailey's future.  From my research on siblings of special needs children, this is very typical in these children.  Even though it is typical how is it fair that he has to think of such things.  This is one reason I am working with a non-profit organization in developing a local siblings support group.  If Cooper is going to care for his brother some day, I hope he has a strong support system in place.  This would include people that are in a similar situation.  People he can turn to when things get tough or celebrate with when things are going well. People that get it.   The work I do today I hope will help make a brighter future for both my boys.