Opportunities to Meet Peers

"For most parents, the thought of "going it alone", raising a child with special needs without the benefit of knowing another parent in a similar situation would be unthinkable. Yet, this routinely happens to brothers and sisters. Sibshops, listservs such as SibNet and SibKits, and similar efforts offer siblings the common-sense support and validation that parents get from Parent-to-Parent programs and similar programs. Brothers and sisters -- like parents -- like to know that they are not alone with their unique joys and concerns." from Don Meyer's article What Siblings Would Like Parents and Service Providers to Know.

When Cooper was two and half years old I had to quite my teaching job so I could stay home and coordinate Bailey's school and therapy.  We had moved to another state so there was a mountain of paperwork I had to fill out as well as a new system to navigate.  Once the dust settled, I realized that I needed to get Cooper out and about so he could meet kids his age.  Through an internet search I found this amazing group of moms.  Through this group of women, Cooper and I were able to make friends that not only accepted us into their group but Bailey as well.  Both boys were able to make friends but the biggest thing was Cooper was able to spend time almost everyday with other neuro-typical kids.  He learned from the other kids appropriate behaviors for his age, how to play with others, how to share, and many other typical things kids his age did.

After a year and half in that state we moved to the state we presently live in.  I went back to work and Cooper went to all day preschool. On a daily basis he was interacting with his typical peers which prepared him for elementary school.  Cooper is a very social boy that is friends with everyone.  Once he entered elementary school this was very evident.  He received many birthday party invitations which we made sure one of us would take him and only him so he could be a typical kid at his friend's birthday party.

At age seven years old, Cooper is involved in soccer and karate which he enjoys doing.  We love having Cooper participate in these activities because he gets the opportunity to be a typical kid.  When he is with his typical peers, he is easy going and happy go-lucky, all things we love to see him be.  

Right to a Safe Environment

"Some siblings live with brothers and sisters who have challenging behaviors. Other siblings assume responsibilities for themselves and their siblings that go beyond their age level and place all parties in vulnerable situations. Siblings deserve to have their own personal safety given as much importance as the family member who has special needs." from Don Meyer's article What Siblings Would Like Parents and Service Providers to Know.

This is an extremely important thing to both my husband and me.   We have never wanted Cooper to feel unsafe in his home so we have worked hard with Bailey to teach him to not physical assault others, specific Cooper. When Bailey was younger we had to restrain him so he would not hurt Cooper but that changed as he got older.  Though positive reinforcement we were able  to teach Bailey how to express his anger and how to treat Cooper.   Bailey will still scream and yell which Cooper can not stand but Cooper does feel safe in his own home.This has helped the boys to develop a sibling relationship that may not have been there if Bailey was physically aggressive towards Cooper.

Life Gets in the Way

It has been awhile since I blogged.  Life definitely got in the way.  Between work, the boys, and two foster kids, finding time to blog was hard.  We are now transitioning the foster kids to their family.  We had these kids for a year and half.  As we transition the kids back to their family, it makes me appreciate the time I have with both my boys.  They are both well behaved and quiet which is so nice to have after the chaotic life  we have had the last year and half.

I have a lot of catching up to do to finish my blogs on Don Meyer's article called What Siblings Would Like Parents and Service Providers to Know.  I hope you have find them helpful and interesting.