Right to One's Own Life

Don Meyer is the expert when it comes to siblings of special needs children.  He has written many books on the topic, started an annual conference for siblings a couple years ago, and developed curriculum for a siblings support program called Sibshop.  One of his articles that I read over and over to make sure I am doing everything I can to meet Cooper's needs is " What Siblings Would Like Parents and Services Providers to Know".
http://www.siblingsupport.org/publications/what-siblings-would-like-parents-and-service-providers-to-know
Over the next few weeks, I will write about the individual themes and what I do to make sure I am addressing them for Cooper.  This week is the first one: The Right to One's Own Life.

The right to one's own life is something I had thought about long before I read this article.  I knew that Cooper needed to have as close as possible to a neuro-typical childhood as we could provide him.  This meant he would have to do activities that were not centered around Bailey but centered around him.  Making sure Cooper interacted with other neuro-typical children lead me to search for a mom's group when I stayed home with him during his preschool years.  Through my search I found an amazing group of moms that not only accepted Cooper but accepted Bailey even when he was having a rough day.  I am so glad that I found them because they helped me determine when Cooper was doing a developmentally appropriate thing or copying Bailey.  They gave me ideas on how to help Cooper develop in a typical manner and gave him opportunities to socially interact with his peers which gave him a break from the world of autism.

As Cooper gets older, his interests have changed.  Presently, I have him involved in soccer, karate, and swimming.  All of these sports are areas of interests of his as well as activities that don't involve autism.  I also have Cooper attend a different school than Bailey (I would prefer Bailey attend the same school but the autism classroom at that school is for severely autistic children).  At school, he is Cooper.  He is developing friendships that are based upon his interests.  Cooper's personality is developing independent of being  Bailey's caretaker, advocate, teacher, and therapist.    I think providing Cooper his own life allows him to experience a neuro-typical childhood as well as appreciate and love his brother for who he is, autism and all.